


Watching

by flootzavut



Category: NCIS
Genre: Angst, F/M, Kibbs, Possibly Unrequited Love, Staring, season two
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-06
Updated: 2013-04-06
Packaged: 2017-12-07 15:41:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/750194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flootzavut/pseuds/flootzavut
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gibbs may be strong enough not to do anything else about Kate and the effect she has on him, but he can't seem to stop himself from watching her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Watching

He watches her.

It's a habit. Not a bad habit, not a good habit. He's not going to judge himself for something he has no control over. He tried to stop. It didn't work. Worrying about that would be a waste of effort.

He's not sure when it started.

Or at least, that's what he tells himself. In reality, he remembers offering to take a phonecall, and her response: "I'd have to be dead." It had made him laugh, unexpectedly. He'd nodded to himself, and then kept an eye on her the rest of the flight. He was pretty sure she hadn't noticed his mild concern, his sudden interest in her wellbeing. If she had, she'd've ripped his balls off - without anaesthetic.

Since she actually started working at NCIS, logic demands that he stop watching her - that watching a subordinate agent, a younger subordinate agent, a young, attractive,  _female_  subordinate agent isn't a good career move. For either of them. But logic doesn't have much to do with his feelings towards Kate Todd.

Putting her at that desk had been a mistake. Nothing he could do about it now. The desk opposite his now belongs to McGee, and any excuse other than "I'm really distracted by your hair" to move her is long gone. So his desk faces hers, and no matter who had sat there, he'd've ended up staring at them. Sometimes he just has to stare at something that isn't a file or a computer screen. Kate being there - so tantalisingly close, so completely out of reach - didn't create the distraction. Just makes it worse.

She watches him too, sometimes. He's not stupid. He recognises that the chemistry between them started the second their eyes met, and that that first overlong handshake was just an excuse to stay in contact a little longer. He's not sure if she has some kind of father figure fixation or not, though it's the only explanation he's comfortable with for the attraction those big brown eyes can't hide.

If she was just looking for any old body to keep her warm at nights, DiNozzo would oblige. He tries not to think about a scenario where she gets that desperate for someone to share her bed. If he can't have her, he's sure as hell not gonna sit by and watch Tony get her instead.

He knows she dates, and he tries to remind himself of that fact, however distasteful he finds it, so he doesn't get any funny ideas. She has men - young men - who want to wine her and dine her and get her naked. She doesn't need him. Trying to figure out why she looks at him the way she sometimes does... If he knew the answer to that problem, it still wouldn't make his life any easier, so he thinks about it as seldom as possible.

He watches her. And it's not innocent, but it's not sleazy either. He notices when she's tired, or unhappy, he notices when she has her hair cut, he notices if she's been crying, or if she's wearing a new suit, if she's happy because her date last night went well or if she's sad because she's broken up with another jerk who's not good enough for her.

(He never meets any of the jerks. The fact she breaks up with them or they are stupid enough to dump her is all the evidence he needs that they're jerks and they're not good enough for her.)

He doesn't do anything about any of those things, much as he'd like to. To do so would be to acknowledge that he sees, that he notices - that he cares. And that's a dangerous road.

Somewhere down the line, he'll retire, maybe, if he doesn't get shot or blown up or butchered first. Somewhere down the line, she'll earn a team of her own, or get offered a position she can't refuse. And then... then maybe he'll ask if he can ring her sometime. Then he'll tentatively step beyond the bounds of their professional relationship. Then, if she hasn't gotten over her father infatuation, or her liking for old grey bastards, or... whatever the hell reason it is that her gaze softens when she looks at him... Then, maybe, she'll have dinner with him. Then, maybe, he'll kiss her goodnight, or make her breakfast.

For now, though, things aren't going to change.

So he watches her.


End file.
